Look! A Purple Snow Bunny!
by Autumn's.Reign
Summary: What happens when someone gives me a list of ten random things? A series of pointless stories. A bunch of stories I call Nonsense Stories. Warning: complete randomness is assured, as is weirdness.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, so I wanted to write a Cyborg 009 fan fiction, but I didn't know what to write, so I asked my friend to give me a list of so many random things and I said I would make them into a story, so if you can actually be bothered to read this, bear with me._

_List of random things to include:_

_a purple ring_

_009 has a secret admirer_

_003 dies her hair blue_

_the Cyborgs discover E-bay_

_a pineapple_

_a pink G-string_

_the bible_

_a secret diary from 002_

_a wedding proposal_

_a vampire_

_Okay, lets see what I can come up with. (Don't blame me if it's boring!)_

004 stared at the computer screen, his nose only inches from the monitor. His eyes were glued, and they showed no sign that they would ever unstick themselves in the near future.

"Wow." He breathed, staring at one particular spot in the right-hand corner of the screen.

Behind him the door opened and 002 walked in, as it was his turn to use the computer. He walked over to 004 and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Off. It's my turn!" he said, sounding EXACTLY like my little brother. (A/N just so you know my little bro is the BIGGEST pain in the ass EVER!)

"Just a few more days, I'm almost finished." 004 said, without his eyes moving even a millimeter.

"But it's my turn 004! Off!" 002 said firmly.

004 finally tore his eyes, with difficulty, from the screen, and looked at 002.

"But I want to admire this a little longer. I have made the greatest discovery in the history, of like, everything ever discovered." 004's voice was faraway.

"What is this great discovery?" 002 inquired curiously.

"E-bay." 004 said, his eyes once again glued to the monitor.

"Huh?" 002 said, baffled.

"E-bay." Was the only thing 004 could say, such was its brilliance to him.

"He's finally cracked." 002 muttered as he left the room, shaking his head.

"Hey, where's 004?" Dr. Gilmore asked as everyone sat down at the table, eager to start dinner.

002 shook his head.

"I'm afraid he's lost his mind, Dr. Gilmore." He said just a little un-sympathetically.

"Oh, okay then, shall we start dinner?" Dr. Gilmore said cheerfully.

When he finished his dinner, 002 discreetly left the table and walked to his room, ready for bed, tired after a long day of, well, he didn't really do anything, but he was tired none the less.

He plopped himself on his bed and took out from under his bed a small pink fluffy diary, which he opened and begun writing with his favorite feathery, googly-eyed pen.

_Dear diary,_

_I have come to a startling conclusion about the mental health of 004. He was on the computer for all of today and when I went in there, with the thought of checking my emails, I found him mere millimeters away from the screen, then he went on to say that he had 'discovered' this supposedly great web site called 'E-bay'. I fear for his sanity. I fear he has lost his mind; he was that close to the computer, his eyes hardly leaving it. I suppose I feel rather bad for him, or maybe I'm just jealous of the computer, as I do harbor a secret crush on the German Cyborg. He never looks at me the way he looked at the computer!_

_Bye for now, dear diary, I'm going to cry myself to sleep, why is God so cruel to me?_

002 stowed his secret diary away, and, as he had so truthfully written, cried himself to sleep.

Early that morning the postman knocked on the door and 009 answered it.

"I have this large delivery for a Mr. Joe Shimamura." He said, holding up a large box of flowers and another, smaller box which was wrapped, topped with a red bow.

"Umm…that's me." 009 said.

The postman handed him the large package gratefully, then he got 009's signature on his clipboard and proceeded to walk away.

009 closed the door, with some difficulty, and walked into the kitchen. He set the flowers down and unwrapped the parcel that came with them.

Inside the box was a card. 009 Picked it up curiously, and read it.

_To my dear Joe,_

_Love from your secret admirer. _

009 lifted an eyebrow as he read it. Secret admirer? Who could it possibly be? He placed the card next to the box, and lifted the tissue paper inside to reveal a pink piece of clothing. He lifted it out, only to widen his eyes in shock and quickly stuff it back in the box, thankful that the kitchen just happened to be empty at this moment in time.

However, it wasn't to stay that way for long. The rest of the Cyborgs walked into the room, excluding 004, 003 and 001, just as he jammed the lid back on the box, hiding the embarrassing article within.

"What's all this then, 009?" 007 asked, spying the flowers and box on the table.

"A gift from a secret admirer." 009 answered stiffly, hoping no-one would look inside the box, in fact he prayed no-one would look in the box.

"OOOOOOH! 009's got a secret admirer!" 002 teased.

Just then, 003 walked into the room, and everyone gasped as they saw her, except for 002, who was too busy teasing 009 to notice anything but her presence.

"Did you hear that 003?" 002 asked. "009 has an admirer!"

Before 003 could say anything, everyone, of course, except 002 asked, "What happened to your hair?"

003 looked defiantly at them.

"I died it blue." She said bluntly.

In the background, the T.V. could be heard.

"_In breaking news, a body has just been found dumped in a river. The police have yet to identify the body of the male. The police say that he was killed from a series of knife-wounds to the chest. So far no evidence has been found concerning his murderer. All that some witnesses can say is that they say a blonde woman, aged 17-24, drive away from the scene of the crime earlier this morning."_

For some strange, unknown reason, the T.V. suddenly went quiet. 003 hurriedly hid the large, blood-stained knife behind her back and put an innocent look on her face.

"So…what were you saying about 009 and a secret admirer?" 003 asked, diverting their attention from her.

"Hey, what's this 009?" 002 suddenly asked, snatching a small note from the floor. _"I hope to see you in this one day."_ He read. He looked at 009 slyly. "And what is this about 009?" he asked.

009's face went red. That note must have slipped from his 'gift' when he lifted it up, he mustn't have seen it.

"Nothing," 009 said quickly. "It's nothing." He made a grab for the note, but 002 was too quick and whipped it out of reach.

007 walked around the table and, without 009 seeing, opened the box to reveal what 009 had hidden from view.

With a smile of triumph, 007 held up 009's gift for the entire world to see. A pink G-string.

002 sat on the couch, absently flipping through the thick, boring book that was the Bible. He was trying to find where it said "Make 002's life hell". He figured the Bible had to be like God's diary or something.

004 walked in, and 002 noticed that he looked a little nervous.

"What is it 004?" 002 asked, closing the book, giving it up as a lost cause.

004 walked over to 002 and knelt before him.

"I have to tell you 002, I can't keep my feelings bottled up any longer." 004 said taking 002's hand in his own. "I love you 002! Will you marry me?" He held out a purple ring.

002's eyes widened in shock, and then a huge grin stretched across his face.

"Of course I'll marry you, 004!" he wrapped his arms around 004.

"Yay!" 004 yelled.

The door opened and a vampire walked in, carrying a pineapple, which his teeth were digging into. He looked up at the couple, still in their embrace.

"I'm a vegetarian" he replied to their inquisitive look.

_Okay, so I know that made no sense, and that it was dull, but it was all I could think of. My mind was blank. Hehe. That was so crappy. But I still got all ten things into the story! So that's mission accomplished!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, so this story has nothing to do with the last, any of the chapter that I post under this title will all be Oneshots that I made from a list of ten random things that my friends suggested. So if you wanna suggest ten random things for me to write about, feel free to tell me and ill see if my tiny brain can think of anything._

_Ten random things:_

_A wolf_

_Yin & Yang_

_A blue sweater_

_A Piece of paper with 'This pen is rrrrbbblue' written on it._

_A random gay person_

_A Cornetto_

_A spider_

_A piece of chalk_

'_My and My Penis Enlarger, by Austin Powers'_

_A strand of flossing wire_

_Okay, and apparently number 9 was in Austin Powers, don't ask me, my friend said to use it._

_What can my brain cook up today?_

…:…

"I have an announcement to make!" All the 00 Cyborgs lifted their heads to listen. "I'm gay!"

Puzzled looks came to the faces of all those listening.

"Who the hell are you?" 002 asked the man who was standing before them.

"I'm a random gay person who's only here because the author was too lazy to think of a good way to add me into this extremely dull and stupid story."

"Oh, okay then." The 00 Cyborgs went back to their business as the gay guy left the room.

…:…

"Lalalalalalala…" 003 sang, her feet swinging over the side of her bed.

She felt something on her arm and brushed it off without looking. Then, moments later, she felt something crawling on her face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed, her arms flailing wildly, trying to swipe the spider off her face, which she somehow hadn't noticed was there earlier.

"What is it?" 009 asked, bursting into the room. He saw 003 running about the room in a panic, a spider the size of a dinner plate latched onto her face.

Quickly he rushed over to her.

"003, relax." He said soothingly, resting a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

"What's all this commotion?" 006 asked, walking into the room.

"SPIDER. ON. MY. FACE!" 003 yelled.

"Calm down 003, I know just how to handle this." 006 said calmly.

He proceeded to rummage through his back pocket.

"Ahah!" he exclaimed, pulling out a cornetto. His face fell. "No, that's not what I wanted." He stuffed the ice-cream into his mouth and began going through his pocket again.

This time he pulled out a pumpkin.

"Hmph." He mumbled. "Don't worry 003, I'll find it!"

He produced a rubber chicken. Then a spare tire. Then a cage of pigeons. Then a piece of string, which was in fact a strand of flossing wire. Then after pulling out everything one could think of, including the kitchen sink, he pulled out a large frying-pan.

His face split into a huge grin. "Got it!"

He lifted the pan, swung it around, and-

SPLAT!

The spider was no more. But of course, he had forgotten that 003's face was behind the huge spider, and he therefore not only killed the spider, but broke 003's nose as well.

"003!" 009 yelled as she fell to the floor from the blow.

A goofy grin spread across her face.

"My and My Penis enlarger…" She said groggily. "My penis is HUGE!" She said happily, as the bright red blood trickled from her nose.

"Oops." 006 said. "My bad."

009 looked crossly at 006. He lifted 003 up bridal style and carried her out of the room.

He carried her to the infirmary, where Dr. Gilmore fixed her nose. He finished his work and shook his head at her still dazed look.

"Poor girl." He murmured.

009 looked at her worriedly.

"Is she going to be okay?" he asked his voice full of concern.

"Yeah."

"Phew."

…:…

003 sat on her bed in the infirmary. She was scribbling of a few bits of spare paper. Her tongue was between her teeth in concentration. A pen was clutched in her hand, drawing a yin and yang.

009 walked in to see how she was.

"How you feeling?" he asked. Then he stopped dead in his tracks. The room was littered with small bits of paper, each with some kind of thing written or drawn on it.

He bent over and picked up one that was close to his foot and read it out loud.

"_This pen is rrrrbbblue" _He lifted his eyebrow. "Uhuh."

…:…

"I do believe in fairies!" 003 shouted. "I do! I do!"

"003, shhh!" 009 said to her, as if she were a small child.

She was still acting all dazed. 009 suspected that she had some serious brain damage. He looked over at Dr. Gilmore.

"Surely there's something you can do for her?" he asked.

"I'm sorry 009, but there really isn't." Dr. Gilmore said with a sigh. "And don't call me Shirley."

"Where's my chalk?" 003 suddenly demanded. "I NEED MY PRECIOUS CHALK!" She was running around the room, creating a huge mess, turning table's up-side down looking for her piece of chalk.

"Here it is 003!" 009 hurriedly said, handing her the piece of chalk.

"My Precious!" she whispered, stroking the chalk as if her life depended on it.

"Surely you cannot let her behave like this?" 009 asked.

"I'm sorry 009, but there is simply nothing I can do to help her." Dr. Gilmore said gravely. "And stop calling me Shirley."

Dr. Gilmore walked up to 003 and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"003, it's me, Dr. Gilmore." He said gently.

"Go away; I'm trying to sail to China!" She said harshly.

"I'm afraid that she's cracked." Dr. Gilmore announced dramatically.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 009 screamed, falling to the floor on his knees. "Hey, look, a blue sweater!" He said, picking up a blue sweater from the floor.

All of a sudden, a huge grey wolf jumped through the window, sending shards of glass flying in all directions. He growled and jumped onto Dr. Gilmore, digging it's large, yellow, sharp teeth into him, splattering blood everywhere.

Dr. Gilmore screamed in pain. 009 rushed over, rolled up news paper in hand, and hit the wolf over the head.

"Bad wolf!" he scolded. "We do not break windows and kill Dr. Gilmore!" the wolf backed away from him, his tail between his legs and ears flat against his head.

"Damn wolves!" 009 muttered.

…:…

_Okay, so I know it is stupid, just like the last one. BUT STUPID IS WHAT MAKES LIFE FUN! YAY!_

_Another completed nonsense story! Yay for me!_


	3. Chapter 3

_People most likely don't even read these! Hehe. BUT my friends tell me to put them up, so I do. I should put disclaimers on these things, right? If im supposed to, then I keep forgetting, so bite me._

_**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Cyborg 009 or anything Cyborg 009 related, I mean, like, I've only seen like two episodes!_

_List of random things to include:_

_A moose_

_A bat_

_A rat_

_A mat_

_A track_

_Bob (that's the nickname for my friend)_

_A hairy back_

_A rack_

_A train_

_A bra_

_I find this list extremely boring and lacking imagination, but I made a commitment to myself, so I will strive to do my best with what I was given. This could turn out to be a very short chapter._

…&…

004 just stared blankly at the moose moving about the kitchen, quite at its ease.

"That's odd." He commented, walking back out of the room.

He walked into the lounge room, where most of the 00 Cyborgs were sitting.

"Did you know that there is a moose in the kitchen?" 004 asked them.

"Oh, the moose, he's a distant cousin of mine." 007 said.

"Okay."

…&…

002 stepped out of the shower, onto the fluffy bathroom mat. He grabbed the closest towel from the rack and dried himself off.

Wrapping the towel around himself, he exited the bathroom and walked into his bedroom.

The rest of the 00 Cyborgs were downstairs, in the lounge room, when they heard a loud squeal coming from 002's room. They all jumped to their feet and ran to his room.

"002 what's wrong?" 004 asked, as he was the first to enter the room.

He had enough time to register that 002 was standing on his bed, with only a towel on, before he heard a soft squeak, and saw a small furry thing dash past his feet.

"RAT!" 002 screamed, getting as far away from it as he could.

"I'll get it, I am the leader here!" 009 said, taking a bat out of thin air and chasing the small, terrified rat.

BANG!

009 had just created a huge hole in the floor, missing the rat by millimeters, but he took no notice, he was already past the hole and chasing the innocent rat down the hallway.

CRASH!

The lamp fell to the floor, smashed to bits of useless broken glass.

009 was now officially getting pissed at the small animal, so in a blind rage, forgetting that he could accelerate and was far smarter than the tiny rat, pounced on the animal. There was a muffled squeak, and a yell of triumph.

"HA! THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM ME? THINK AGAIN!" 009 yelled, squeezing the poor creature in his hands.

Somewhere behind 009, a scream erupted. Jumping in fright, he let go of the rat, which scampered away to freedom.

"AAHHH!NOO!" 009 yelled angrily.

He turned to see who had screamed. Standing behind 003 was the freakiest thing he had ever seen. Its black/blue hair was over its face and you could only see one of it's blue eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" 009 asked it.

It brushed the hair out of its face and smiled.

"I'm Bob!" she said cheerfully. "Ha ha! I scared 003!" And with that she turned around and skipped out of the house.

"That scared the hell out of me!" 003 said.

009 was on his knees, searching for the mouse again. He opened the closest door and stepped through it.

You can imagine how surprised he was when he found himself in the middle of the desert. He looked around and saw that there were train tracks under his feet.

He heard a sound on his left; he turned his head to see a train headed straight for him. Not a moment too soon, he felt a hand grab the back of his shirt and pull him to the safety of the hallway.

"Okay, that was weird and unexpected." 009 said, rubbing the back of his head.

He decided to open a different door, which turned out to be a cupboard. He rummaged through the different objects, and then he saw a movement amongst the clothing. Slowly, he reached out to grab the rat. His hand shot down and wrapped around the smooth tail.

He pulled his hand out and lifted his prize in proud triumph.

"Well done 009, it seems you found your prize." 004 snickered.

009 looked at his hand and realized that what he had grabbed wasn't the rat's tail, but the strap of a bra. He went red, noticing that 003 had also turned red with embarrassment. She stalked up to 009, snatched the bra from his hand and-

SLAP!

"Ouch!"

"Watch what your doing next time!" she snapped, and then walked away.

"Damn rats!" 009 muttered darkly.

002 crept cautiously out of his room, still naked except for the towel still firmly wrapped around him.

"Is it dead?" he asked in a small voice.

Almost as if in answer, the rat scurried out of the cupboard and ran directly at 002.

002's scream of terror filled the air, and then he was running as if all hell had broken lose.

The remaining 00 Cyborgs in the hallway laughed as they watched him run.

"I didn't know 002 had such a hairy back!" 004 said as 002 disappeared from sight.

…&…

_That was so crappy. I found that one to be quite difficult. #sigh# Oh well, what can I do? My brain is getting smaller every day._

_Please read and review! I want to know what all you people out there think of my nonsense stories! Are they complete crap? Are they pure genius? Tell me! Send me a review! Suggest ten random things for another one!_


	4. When The Precious Is Stolen

_Disclaimer: I, QUEENPaul, ruler of the Egg People, do not own Cyborg 009 or anything Cyborg 009 related. _

_Story number four. Not that anyone really cares After all, these are all absolute crap._

_List of random things to include:_

_A maroon coloured tree _

_An inflatable dartboard_

_A green coloured sky_

_A chocolate kettle_

_A pedal powered wheelchair_

_An ejector seat in a helicopter_

_A red banana_

_A purple road_

_The green sea_

_A fly screen window in a helicopter_

_An interesting array of random things if you ask me… hmm._

* * *

The beginning of this particular story takes place in the forest. Just a normal looking forest, somewhere close to the house thingy that the Cyborgs live in. Or it could be right next door…who knows?

Anyway, so the 00 Cyborgs are walking through this forest, searching, for BLACK GHOST! Yes, they were currently looking for him because he had stolen something VERY precious to them, something they all new they could not live without, the thing which their lives revolve around.

Their inflatable dartboard.

They had all been innocently sitting around the kitchen table when they heard a sound coming from the lounge room; naturally they had jumped up from their seats and went to investigate. To their horror, they had walked in on the most horrifying scene of their lives.

Black Ghost was standing in the middle of the room, their most prized possession tucked under his arm, an evil grin stretching across his mouth.

"It is mine now and you will never get it back!" Black Ghost said in his most evil-sounding voice.

Before any of them could react, he was in accelerating mode (btw, I don't know if black ghost can accelerate, but he does here) and already into the safety of the forest.

009 fell to the floor in despair and horror. He put his face in his hands.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled to the ceiling, his arms outstretched. "Why couldn't you let him take me instead? The dartboard was innocent!"

003 crouched down beside 009 and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Its okay 009, we'll get it back." She whispered to him.

But he could no longer take it, he was devastated, tears sprang to his eyes and he was overcome with heart-wrenching sobs. 003 embraced him tightly, letting him cry into her shoulder. It was simply too much to bear.

So here they all were, trudging through the deep, dark, scary, horrifying, dirty forest, searching for their enemy Black Ghost.

"What was that?" 003 suddenly gasped, peering into the trees (wait, isn't she psychic or something?).

"It's only the giant purple monkeys which feed of human flesh, just ignore them." 009 said absently. "We're cyborgs remember?"

But she continued to peer into the dense trees nervously, convinced that something was just out of her sight.

"OUCH!" hearing 004's anguished cry, she looked over at him. He was lying on the forest ground, clutching his ankle.

"What is it 004?" 002 asked.

"I sprained my ankle." He answered.

"Here, I've got just the thing." 006 said, pulling a wheelchair out of no-where. "It's my new invention. A pedal powered wheelchair, go on give it a go."

004 somehow managed to struggle into the pedal powered wheelchair. With all his might he began to pedal with his one good foot, gaining more and more momentum, though he didn't even move a centimeter.

"Go on ahead without me, I will catch up." He said, sweat already beading on his forehead, and watched as they all shrugged their shoulders and continued on their way, 003 sparing one last look at him as she walked away, seeing him continue to pedal though it was obviously all in vain as he still hadn't moved at all.

* * *

"I think we are lost 009." 002 said calmly, looking at a maroon coloured tree, the one they had passed approximately 14,367,980,871 times.

"Nonsense, I know precisely where we are!" 009 said confidently, glancing at the sky, which was now a green coloured sky, with purple clouds obscuring the blue sun from view.

"And where exactly is that 009?" 007 asked 009 mockingly.

"Here." 009 answered simply.

"Here?" 007 repeated quizzically.

"Yup!"

"And where is 'Here'?"

"Well I just told you where it was now didn't I? It's Here." 009 said looking at 007 oddly, as if 007 had suddenly lost his mind. "Where else would we be? We are not There, we are Here."

"I think he has taken the loss of the dartboard rather worse than we thought." 003 said, feeling 009's forehead with the back of her hand.

SUDDENLY the sound of splashing could be heard from just beyond the trees.

"What was that?" 003 asked fearfully.

"Let's go find out." 009 said, jumping into the trees and crashing across to the other side.

When the others caught up with him, they found him hiding behind a large tree, one of his hands held before him as if it were a gun. He signaled for them to hide.

"It's Him." He whispered, quickly glancing at the figure currently swimming in the pink-coloured ocean. "He's swimming in the Green Sea."

"Green Sea? Why is it called that it's pink!" 002 asked.

"Never mind that, we have to retrieve the Precious!" 009 hissed.

He rolled from out of his hiding spot commando-style, rolling across the sand. He continued to do this right up to the shoreline where the water met the sand, where he jumped to his feet and pointed his gun/hand at Black Ghost, while the rest of the 00 Cyborgs just walked, slowly catching up with 009.

"Hand over the Dartboard or I'll shoot!" he demanded, his voice rising and his eyes bulging like the madman he was.

"What dartboard?" Black Ghost played innocent.

"That one in your hands." 009 said pointing to the inflatable dartboard in Black Ghosts hands; he was playing with it in the water.

"Oh!" Black Ghost exclaimed, as if he had just realized he had been holding the stolen article.

The rest of the 00 Cyborgs came up behind 009 and looked daggers at Black Ghost. 003 walked up to him, into the water, and slapped him, he eyes flashing with anger.

"You are nothing but a big bully!" she hissed, and snatched the inflatable dartboard from his hands.

* * *

004 was still pedaling the pedal powered wheelchair, still in the exact spot as where the other Cyborgs had left him.

* * *

The sound of a helicopter reached the ears of the Cyborgs. All looked up to see who it was.

In the cockpit of the helicopter was 001. He was flying it.

A ladder dropped from the helicopter and the Cyborgs all climbed it one by one until they were all inside.

"Bye Black Ghost!" 009 called out from the air.

009 climbed inside and 003 closed the fly screen window after him.

"Thank you for saving us 001." 002 said cheerfully.

The baby just smiled and pulled out a large remote with a big red button that said 'EJECT' in big yellow letters. He nodded, his smile growing into a large grin.

"NO!" 002 yelled shaking his head furiously.

But 001 only nodded faster and his little pudgy finger got closer…closer…closer to the button and then…

…He pressed it.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 002 screamed as he was ejected into the air.

Everyone watched as he was lost into the distance, just a spec in the sky, his screams fading along with him. Then 007 turned to 001.

"Let's go shall we?" he asked airily.

The baby nodded and flew the helicopter away, leaving behind the forest, and everyone was much more cheerful as they flew off towards the house, with their precious inflatable dartboard.

"That was a quick flight." 009 commented as he jumped out of the recently landed helicopter. He looked in the direction they had come from and could still see Black Ghost standing on the shore of the Green Sea, staring at his empty hands. A cry could be heard faintly, which was no doubt from Black Ghost.

"I'll get you 00 Cyborgs! You may have been lucky this time and foiled my evil plan and disappeared, but I will get you one day!"

"No you won't!" 009 yelled back.

"Yes I will!"

"No you bloody well won't!"

"You will never stop Black Ghost!"

"Yes I will!"

"Will not!"

"Will too!"

"Will not!"

"Will not!"

"Will too!"

"Shut up!"

"NO!"

003 rolled her eyes and turned her back on 009, who was still yelling at Black Ghost, who was still yelling back in his distant voice. She looked down at her feet, admiring her new shoes. She really liked her new shoes.

They were pink.

She sighed happily, gazing at her shoes, when something caught her attention.

"How long has the road been purple?" she asked no-one in particular.

"Dunno." 006 said absently, rummaging around his back pocket again. "Where is it? I had it a moment ago! Ah! Here it is!" he held up something in his hand. "Anyone for tea?" he asked with a smile on his goofy-looking face. "I got my chocolate kettle!"

002 walked into view.

"Oh, hi 002!" 007 greeted him cheerfully, as if he had not been ejected from a helicopter into the air and disappeared to God knows where. "Have a nice time?"

002 just huffed and walked past him, into the house.

"So that's a no for tea?" 006 said disappointedly.

"I could do with a banana myself." 003 said pulling a red banana from nowhere. "It's my favorite vegetable!"

"I know what you mean." 007 agreed, he turned around, 009 still having his screaming match with Black Ghost. He scratched the back of his head. "You know, it may just be me, but I get the feeling that we are forgetting something."

* * *

004 sat exhausted in his wheelchair. He hadn't given up. He was intent upon getting back the inflatable dartboard. He was just tired is all.

With a determined look he began pedaling again, his sprained foot hanging loosely over the chair.

"I'll get there." He said between clenched teeth, looking at how far he had gone, at least three millimeters

_

* * *

I'm sorry for taking sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very very long to update this I apologize most sincerely, but I just got caught up in things and then I forgot and then I didn't feel like it, you know how it is._

_So seeing as it is my birthday I decided to post this as a hobbit-style gift for all those who take time out of their lives to read this bunch of nonsense._

_I think that this is not as funny as it could be, but I did the best I could and I apologize once again if it does not meet your expectations._

_But please, leave a review, give me a list of ten random things, flame me for my lack of funniness, I'm happy with any kind of response._


	5. A World Where Everything is Normal

_Okay, story number five._

_Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own Cyborg 009._

_

* * *

List of random things to include:_

_Vomit_

_Fairy floss_

_Faeces_

_Fiona (a friend of mine)_

_A pencil_

_Power (what this refers to, I have no idea)_

_A basket_

_A shirt_

_An ear_

_An arrow_

_Dude, sometimes I wonder what goes on in the heads of my friends. _

_Mm_

_

* * *

_

While the world slept in blissful obliviousness in the quiet of night, one person crept through the forest towards the house where nine Cyborgs lived. The Person was creeping around without a sound. The Person was invisible against the black blanket of night. No more than another shadow amongst the trees.

Slowly, so as to not make a sound, The Person drew out a gun-looking thing, pointed it at the side of the large beach house and pulled the trigger. An arrow whizzed through the air, leaving a trail of rope behind it, burying itself into the wall of the closest room. Tying the rope securely to a tree, The Person stealthily shimmed along the rope, reaching the window.

When The Person reached the sill, The Person unhinged the arrow, dropping it to the ground. The Person then proceeded to jump down from the sill, two feet to the ground and quickly ran back to collect the other end of the rope from where The Person had secured it to the tree.

Once the rope and hook had been coiled neatly and set aside, The Person clambered up once again onto the slight ledge. With silent precision, The Person unlocked the window, sliding it open and slipping inside.

Careful to close the window behind The Person, The Person quickly scanned the room for any occupants. Satisfied that it was devoid of all life, The Person crossed the room, squinting in the darkness.

The Person had only taken two steps before walking into a table. The sound of wood scraping across the floor resounded through the air, closely followed by the sounds of a vase of some sort rocking before falling to the ground, smashing loudly.

Everything was dead quiet for a second, The Person stood frozen in the dark room, sure that they had been caught. When nothing happened after a few minutes, the sound of someone slowly letting out a deep breath punctured the anxious silence.

Steeling them self, The Person once again began to creep through the room, wary of the table's position. Exiting the room, The Person walked through what The Person supposed was a living room, over to the stairs, climbing them lightly, should they happen to creak.

Reaching the top of the stairs, The Person stopped and took a deep breath. Quickly glancing either side of them, The Person readied them self.

"FIRE!" The shout reverberated through the air, ringing in the ears of all who heard.

The sounds of people hastily rousing themselves from sleep were now heard and the further calls of "Fire" and people waking up their sleeping teammates. The first person appeared, his shirt was buttoned wrong, and he was wearing pajama pants, his hair all messy from sleep.

He saw the person standing at the top of the stairs.

"Who the fuck are you!" he said sleepily, running a hand through his tangled brown hair.

With a look of surprise etched all over their face, The Person looked around dumbly for a sign of anyone else, seeing no-one else, The Person turned back to the sleepy man.

"Oh!" The Person exclaimed. "You mean me? Who I am? Nice to meet you, I'm Fiona, and I'm going now."

Confusedly the young man shook her hand.

"Fiona? Why did you wake us?" He said as the remainder of the house all rushed from their rooms, holding precious items of theirs, pushing past Fiona, and rushing down the stairs in haste to get away from the 'fire'.

"Where's the fire?" he asked.

"Oh, there is no fire." Fiona said as she began to descend the stairs gracefully.

"Then why did you wake us and yell out fire?" He asked.

"I was bored." She answered.

"Oh."

* * *

Jet Jr. ran around the coffee table, really, really fast.

"C'mere Jet Jr." 003 called out, extending her arms to catch him as he catapulted into her arms. "Good boy" she praised as he licked her face, leaving traces of saliva on her smiling face.

From across the room Jet Sr. grunted in annoyance, eyeing the pair in evident distaste.

"Why did we name it after me again?" he demanded angrily.

"Because he's so fast, just like you." 003 said happily, smoothing down the hair atop Jet Juniors head.

"But 009 is fast too, I'm not the only Cyborg who can accelerate!" 002 complained.

"But Jet Jr. sounds cuter than Joe Jr. Plus, its fun to annoy you like this."

"I hate dogs." 002 muttered under his breath, glaring pointedly at the small puppy in 003s arms.

Dr. Gilmore entered the room, smiled at the puppy and continued towards the stairs, reaching the bottom most stair, he stopped. He bent down to look at something on the carpet.

Holding his glasses to his eyes he nodded knowingly. "Yes, just as I suspected."

"What is it Dr. Gilmore?" 003 asked curiously.

"Why, I believe it is dog faeces 003." He answered in his most dignified voice.

"Bad Jet Jr.!" 003 scolded the puppy in her arms. "We do not do our business in the house!"

"Told you we shouldn't have gotten the stupid mutt." 002 murmured darkly, thoughts of fried dog burgers going through his mind.

003 looked at him angrily for a second before her face broke out in a wide grin, the type which Jet Sr. had come to fear more than an encounter with Black Ghost.

"Well, seeing as Jet Jr. is your responsibility, being named after you and all, it's only fair that you clean up after him." With that said, 003 left the room, carrying Jet Jr., a very, very angry Jet Sr. fuming on the couch, staring at 'evil' dog poop.

* * *

Humming a song she had recently heard on her favorite radio station, 003 emptied the contents of the washing machine into a basket. Closing the lid, she turned to hang the wet clothes out to dry; only to sense with her 'power' that it was about to rain.

With a sigh, she placed the basket atop the washing machine and walked into the kitchen. Seating herself at the table, she looked around.

"Sigh." She sighed.

009 walked in, scratching the back of his head, and sat opposite her.

"I'm bored." 003 said in a bored tone of voice.

"Me too." 009 agreed. He looked about him, almost as if he were looking for something interesting to do. "Weren't you going to hang the clothes out to dry?" he asked.

003 nodded. "Yes, but I sensed it was going to rain." And sure enough, as they watched the window, fairy floss began to descend from the heavens.

"Huh. It's raining fairy floss again." 003 said uninterestedly.

"Wanna get drunk?" 009 asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

* * *

A/N …making…no…sense…

* * *

"Where's that mushic coming from?" 003 asked, her voice slurred by the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

"You're shingingh." 009 answered, grinning stupidly.

"I am? Oh, that's okhay then." She said with relief.

"Wanna dansh?" 009 asked 003 shyly. She smiled wider and took his proffered hand.

They started to dance in some drunken fashion, shuffling their feet around to the non-existent music. 009 reached behind him on the table with his free hand for the tequila bottle. 003 suddenly stiffened in his arms.

"I'm gonna be sick." She said, then immediately broke from their embrace and rushed outside, as it had ceased raining fluffy bits of candy.

Joe rushed after her, liquor bottle firmly in hand and held her hair back as she vomited violently in the bushes.

When she had wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she took the bottle from Joe's hands and took a mouthful of the stuff. Coughing, she handed it back.

"'S so pwetty out tonight" she said happily, leaning on 009.

"Yup." 009 concurred. He took a quick swig from the bottle; much like 003 had just done, though without coughing afterwards.

"Might shleep now." 003 said tiredly. She yawned hugely.

"Wanna give you somefing firshed." 009 said hurriedly. He rummaged through his pockets and found a pencil.

"Here." He said, handing it to her.

"Wow. I love it, thanks Joe." 003 said, her voice hushed in awe, she LOVED the pencil. "I'll cherish it always." She said sincerely.

Then they fell asleep outside in a mound of fairy floss.

* * *

Okay…made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! But, hey, it's a nonsense story, innit?

Yup…no sense…not…even…funny…just…stupid…

Stuff it.

So review…please…


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